I’m 30 years old. By all accounts, I’m a full grown human. I keep a Baby Cat alive and well spoiled. I’m an ADULT.
That being said, there are certain things that I really thought I would have a better handle on at this point in my life. Things that 15-year-old Kiwi was CONVINCED she’d be pro at by this age. Sadly, this is not the case and I am a hot mess in certain areas of my life where others are excelling. I present to you in a listicle format;
7 Adulting Things I Suck At:
Eating Regular Meals
I fail HORRIBLY at eating a proper meal on my own. As of late, my food choices are usually takeout, microwave, or toddler style. I love cooking and I love experimenting with food, but when it comes to actually preparing 3 meals a day for myself… NOPE. DoorDash, EVOL bowls, and a divided plate like a child is what you’ll find me eating.
Once upon a time, I had regular sleeping and waking hours. That has slowly been eroded by working unconventional hours, overnight treatments, and sleep stealing medications. Now I’m close personal friends with late night infomercials and shudder at the suggestion of anything before noon.
Making Phone Calls
Unless you are my mother or grandmother, I do not want to talk on the phone with you. I will make my appointments via apps. I will order my pizza online. I will not call either of these places to do those things. When I have to, I get sweaty… and I hate getting sweaty.
Part of this is due to the fact that I grew up in a place that was cold for 9 months out of the year and all I wore were hoodies. Part of this is because I’m quite petite and it’s often difficult to find the “trendy” things that fit (looking at you, Maxi Dresses). Part of this is because I would rather sleep the 10 minutes it would take to coordinate an outfit in the morning. Whatever reason you wish to prioritize, I’m not good at being stylish. I want to be. I’m trying. But, at the end of the day when you give me a choice between leggings or a dress where I’d have to shave my legs, I’m gonna pick leggings.
Doing My Hair
This goes hand in hand with the style thing. I wear my hair either down, half up, or messy bun. I don’t understand how to do hair. Last time I tried to use a hair curler, I ended up with pageant child hair, which is not helped with my short stature. This lead to me crying like a pageant child who got second place and throwing out my hair curler. I want to have the pretty wavy styled hair that the beautiful people have. I did just buy another curling iron…
This one perplexes me. Due to my kidney transplant I have to take daily medications so I don’t die. And I’m great at doing that! But adding in a multivitamin, or a supplement that would ease some of those side effects is beyond my comprehension. I buy them… but then they just sit. Maybe if I convince myself I need those so I don’t die too?
I hate straight water. It tastes like drinking spit. There I said it. I know it’s good for me, and when I do drink 100% water I feel and look better, but I don’t like it. I would rather have coffee. Or Diet Coke. Or something with some flavor or carbonation so that it doesn’t feel like drinking spit.
So, yeah… I’ve got a list of things to work on. I can’t be alone on this matter.