Glitter and Pr*f@n!ty

Taylor Swift released The Tortured Poets Department last week and I did a first listen breakdown on my Instagram. I held off doing a full review though for a few reasons:

1. I had a lot going on at the moment.

2. I don’t think it’s really fair to pass a definitive review unless you’ve had a chance to really listen to an album, and with 31 tracks to get through, you’re not really going to be able to do that in the span of hours.

Well, it’s been roughly 7 days and I have some thoughts. I submit to the department:

The Tortured Album Review (Kiwi’s Version)

Let’s get the major point out of the way first. If you’re a Swifty who understands the meaning of and is deep in the lore, this album is the gift that keeps on giving. There are a lot of references and Easter eggs to unwrap; it must feel like Christmas. But, if you’re someone who just kinda likes Taylor Swift’s music, or Pop Music in general, but don’t know or care about all the meanings of clocks and birds and whatever TaylorTok is hyped about today… this album is just ok. I’m in the latter camp. This is not a judgment against Taylor, she’s a billionaire with plenty of other things to worry about other than whether or not I loved her album.

Let me be very clear, there is some great stuff here. I Can Do It With A Broken Heart is a certified bop that is all too relatable (“I cry a lot but I am so productive; it’s an art” is my new motto). But Daddy I Love Him is Love Story’s rebellious grown up sister. The Manuscript is quite possibly the best thing she’s ever written; an introspective look back with a level of honesty and vulnerability and maturity building to the poignant realization that that story has ended and now belongs to the ages… I get teary thinking about it.

Nobody taps into the rollercoaster of heartbreak like Taylor Swift, and when she’s at her best she is able to craft lyrics with such elegant precision that pierce even the toughest emotional armor.

But, when she’s wallowing in her self pity and ego, it produces some of the worst tracks on the album. ThanK you aIMee should have been a therapy session, not a song. I Hate It Here could have stayed as inside thoughts. After listening to How Did It End, I don’t know if I needed to know all of that. I’m sure these were very cathartic to write, but I’m also sure some of these songs were approved because they wanted to get to the magical 31 number and not because they were, you know, good.

Which brings me to what I think the real issue with The Tortured Poets Department is; the lack of editing. Any poet worth their scribe will tell you that editing is as important, if not more important, than the creative process. Listening through the entire album a few times, it seems that there wasn’t anyone who would (or could) pull back and curate this experience to highlight its strongest points.

For example, there has been a lot said about how it might be time for Taylor to uncouple from working with Jack Antonoff. I don’t disagree that she would benefit from fresh perspectives, but I also think that stacking the start of the album with four Antonoff productions that all carry his musical signature was a poor choice. It needed editing.

Truthfully, The Tortured Poets Department did not need to be 31 songs. 31 songs is a lot of songs. Even the prolific songwriting duo of Lennon & McCartney struggled filling a double album, and they had two other blokes to help. The Anthology was inflated solely for marketing reasons and to rack up the streams. I also think that the vault tracks on the rereleases maybe made Team Taylor think that everything produced during each era needs to be released. Personally, I think the vault tracks were such bangers because they had time to fully cook. Is It Over Now would not have had the same impact if it had been released on the original version of 1989 because there needed to be some distance between those events happening and that song being heard to appreciate the moment in time it captured.

If someone had somehow thought to ask my opinion on it all, I would have cut it to 13 tracks and reorganized the track listing to give it a little more of a narrative flow (and so we don’t have 4 Antonoff songs smashed together). It’s called The Cliff Notes and you can listen here.

As far what to do with the additional tracks, maybe throw in a bonus or two for the indie record store versions like they did with the Target releases back in the day. If you still really wanted some of out in the world, drop some more as B-sides to singles as you drop those out (remember how those used to not be album tracks?). Or, let the flowers bloom first and release the full double album as a Record Store Day exclusive in a few years.

Basically, I don’t want to do homework to enjoy media at its face value and the full album felt like a school project I had to study for. At times it felt like the focus was more about content quantity than content quality: How can they get the most commentary out of these songs? Like I said at the start of this adventure, that’s great for the die hard Swifty with their color coded reference binder but a tough sell for the rest of us. Give me an album I can emote to during my daily commute or chores and save the Sherlocking for a fan club exclusive.

As a final disclaimer, regardless of how anyone feels about this album or the person, Taylor is doing just fine. She’s got a record breaking album, record breaking tour, a partner who (finally) appears to adore and support her while also giving her the space to do her thing, and 3 cats. She’s not reading this. And if she is, your tour bus got me a parking ticket in 2014 and you owe me $50.

In conclusion, The Tortured Poets Department was fine but probably not getting a front to back relisten again. 1989 is still my favorite. Now, when are we getting Reputation (Taylor’s Version)?